Fitness Crisis

For the past two-three months, I’ve been struggling with my fitness.  I still absolutely love to work out and I’m totally addicted.  However, I happy with how my body looks now and I’ve struggled to push myself in classes at the gym. I don’t need to lose any more weight and I’m more than happy with my muscle tone.  So……what am I doing? Where do I want to go?

I’ve been looking at my fitness goals I set in January.

1.  Run a half Marathon (Coming in May!!)

2.  Hike at least one 14er

3.  Be able to do 5 pull ups

Well………..Number one is happening in May whether I’m ready or not. It’s been too cold to hike until the past few weeks, and I’m up to 5 pull ups already.  So again……what are my real long term goals?

When I was heavy, my ideal image of fitness was a distance runner. sport-protiv-stareniyaWomen like this run past my apartment all day long every day.  I would see them and think, “Wow.  That’s what I want to be able to do someday.”  I’ve never been envious of body builders, cyclists, gymnasts or swimmers.  That’s never been the type of body I wanted to have or activities I’m even interested in.  I’ve never wanted to be able to squat 300 pounds.  BUT I’ve always wanted to be a runner.  My sister did Cross Country when we were in school.  I could never believe how far she could run or that she actually liked it. After moving to Colorado, I saw just how normal running was here.

So I’m trying to zero in on what I really want from my body and what I want it to be able to do.  So, for the next two months………..and I still can’t believe I’m saying this……I’ve suspended my gym membership.  I’m going to be mixing running with boxing training while I prepare for the race.  While talking through my goals with my hubby, I said “I’d love to be able to run a 5K every 6 months for the rest of my life” and that’s my real goal: fitness for life.

While my body is adjusting to running, my mind still is not.  I have trouble finding the ‘runner’s zone’ and think about how much I hate running all the time still.  BUT I’m hopeful that I will learn to love it and crave it like I do my workouts at the gym.  So we will see.  Can I become my ideal athlete? Can I be one of those people that others see as a goal? Is there someone watching me run in the park thinking, “I hope to do that someday”? I hope so!  BTW: I’m probably wearing these underneath.

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