The Doctor

On Friday, I had an appointment with my doctor.  I thought I’d share the questions I asked and the feeling of being at the doctor as a normal weight person. I made this appointment for two reasons:

1.  I knew it was time to test my thyroid again because I’ve been having temperature management issues which can usually mean the thyroid.  Also, I’d lost 40 pounds since it was last tested.

2.  My skin……………while my muscles are looking better than ever in my whole life, my skin is getting worse and worse.  Some areas as slowly shrinking back to where they should be but most of it is a lost cause.  It’s now causing problems in my belly button and groin area after workouts.  Also, during workouts jumping and running are getting painful.

I was actually excited about this doctor’s appointment, which never happens.  I usually dread going to the doctor.  Visiting your doctor when you’re morbidly obese, it’s their job to tell you it’s a problem.  I would go in for something totally unrelated to weight but would inevitably get ‘the talk’.  “You know you’ll be overall healthier if you drop some weight” or “this wouldn’t be an issue if you lost some weight” or “You’re overall healthy but I’d love to see your weight come down”.   No matter what issue I went to the doctor for, I’d usually leave feeling bad about myself.  Now, it is their JOB to recommend you get healthy.  I never had a doctor that I felt treated me differently or judged me because of my weight.  Remember, when I was at my heaviest I was living in Illinois where most people are overweight so seeing me wasn’t that different from every other patient.

During the last year and a half of my weight loss I have only been sick twice.  Both times it was a cold that I got over much faster than I would have previously.  So I haven’t been to the doctor much over my journey.  I’ve been to nutritionist and trainers but rarely checked in with my doctor.  I had not seen her since I hit my 100 pound mark or my goal weight.  So I was excited for her to see what I had done and how it was reflected in my overall health.  She was shocked.  I’ve never had a doctor say to me before, “I’m so proud of you!”  Here’s some of the questions I asked and her response from what I can remember:

How often do normal people weight themselves and think about weight? It varies.  Some people only go by how their clothes fit and only get weighed at the doctor.  Other people weigh themselves everyday.  It honestly varies from one end of the spectrum to the other.  Since you’ve worried about weight so far your whole life, you’ll probably continue for the rest of your life.  There might never come a time when you don’t think about it.  I think it will taper down, but you’ll probably always think about it because you always have.  But maybe being more conscience of it will keep you from going backwards.

How do I know if I have more weight to lose? DON’T LOSE ANY MORE WEIGHT.  (I’m putting this one in to remind myself!)  You’ve reached healthy BMI (24) and I wouldn’t recommend you going any further.  Pay attention to other numbers like body fat, cholesterol, and your thyroid.  My Question: Well I’m not sure what I weigh without all my extra skin.  I don’t want to be to skinny or heavy when my skin comes off. Response: Worry about that when the skin comes off.  There’s no way to know how much is skin versus fat versus muscle.  Don’t worry about it.  You’re BMI is healthy, so I’m happy.

What are the requirements for skin surgery? I am really curious about this.  I’m no where near ready for surgery and need to make a stop in Baby Town first but I want to know what they expect to see when I AM ready for surgery. Response: I have no idea.  I’m writing you a referral to their department right now. Every doctor is different.  Some will just want to see you.  Others want to see your stats.  Others want you to maintain for a certain amount of time.  Either way, it’s really hard to get done medically.  Just be ready for that.

I can not say enough how nice it was to go to the doctor and not leave feeling bad.  I left feeling amazing.  My doctor could recommend a single thing for me to be doing differently.

Thyroid Tests

I am a huge enemy of the thyroid!  I consistently discuss thyroid issue or undiagnosed issues with people all the time.  One of my first questions when someone tells me they are going to start to try losing weight is always, “Have you had your thyroid tested?”  Unless you have experienced thyroid issues, it is difficult to explain them to someone else.  I no longer have a thyroid and don’t have to deal with these problems anymore!  You can read the whole story here: The Thyroid Saga .

Whenever I stumble across an article about the thyroid, I almost always read it.  So many people have been through the same issues as you or even worse.  I found this article interesting and very true:

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Remember: I am not a medical professional and neither is this author.  However, all the information I read here was correct in my own experience as well.  Hope this brings a few of you answers!

It wasn’t worth dying for.

I have posted a lot of different reasons for changing the way I eat, exercise and basically saved my life. So here’s a list all in one convenient place. I encourage everyone to make their own lists and write it out with a writing instrument that makes you feel like a kid. Just because it will make you smile! Trust me on that.

article-2286426-185DF8B6000005DC-468_634x31710. Seats – I was embarrassed when I couldn’t fit in seats. Now, I would say that I did fit in the average seat 80% of the time. Movie seats, most restaurant seats, and chairs found in the average home were fine. However I could  not fit in roller coasters, barely air plane seats, bus seats were uncomfortable, and booths were usually awkward. It was embarrassing to ask my husband to pull the table toward him. I was sick of it. It made me feel huge to not fit where I was supposed to fit. Was I really that big? Uh…….yes apparently. Duh.

 

images-19. Food – When living in such an incredible place like Denver (whoop!!) you get exposed to a whole new palate of food compared to living in the Midwest. I kept finding that I was unsure or didn’t like most of the awesome ‘local trends’ because my palate was akin to grease, ranch dressing, and milk shakes. (In case you haven’t noticed I will be observing the Oxford comma in this post. Why did it have to die? Back to the point.) So basically I was missing out on entire pages of menus and new fad restaurants because they didn’t serve food like you’d find in the MW. And how do the states rank on the Healthiest in the US scale? Colorado is 8th healthiest. Illinois is 30th. So yeah. Again I have to go with Duh.

img_29908. Run – I live in a big(ger) city now and in this big(ger) city weird people are everywhere and weird stuff happens.  Dan and I got into an altercation one night when a guy was trying to get into our building.  I had been going to the gym for some time and I was able to defend myself easily.  Before I don’t think I could have done anything.  So I wanted to be able to run if anything ever happened that was seriously bad.  You just never know.  Paranoid? Probably but Denver has some seriously weird people. It’s the best place ever!

 

 

 

 

 

774781552e1b05ee18ddf2741d51636d7. Clothes – When you are plus sized, you can only shop at so many stores.  All of these stores seem to carry the exact same items, in the same fabrics, and often times even in the same colors. I wanted to wear things I saw other girls wearing.  I couldn’t even find boots that would fit my midwestern-corn-fed-morbidly-obese-calves.  Regular was too small and extended calf was too big.  I wanted to wear things I saw on pinterest and even make my own clothes because I’m a super huge dork. Do you have any idea how much money you save when buying fabric for a body that’s 45% smaller? You guessed it, 45%. Ha!

 

 

 

 

 

6. I didn’t care – The longhere-s-a-little-hint-i-don-t-career I’m an adult the longer I realize that high school never ends.  And in this said high school that we are all calling life, I decided I was done caring what people thought.  I know this sounds backwards.  Why would I lose weight if I stopped caring? Well, I was mostly terrified about losing weight because I knew my skin was already screwed.  I gained my weight in batches that hung in weird places on my body.  As I lost the weight, I knew those places would deflate and hang.  More on how I feel about my skin another day…..back to the point. I decided I didn’t care how I looked when I lost weight. When you feel like you can accept what you’re going to look like after you lose the weight and you don’t look like a Victoria Secret model, it makes it easier. This is something you have to learn to do several times throughout your journey.

 

 

 

Health Promotion5. Health – I know what you’re thinking. 5???? Number 5 is health???? Shouldn’t it be higher or maybe even number 1? The fact is that I am fortunate enough to have so many other things in my life that are worth more than my own health.  My number one goal was always to get healthy, not nesccessarily skinny. There are lists and lists of diseases and health risks associated with obesity.  You can see them HERE if you are unaware, but in this day and age I don’t know a single overweight person that doesn’t know MORE about being heathy than a skinny person. I knew the risks and decided they weren’t worth it.  I had been fairly lucky so far and I didn’t want to Press My Luck! (No whammies, No whammies!)

 

 

 

swirling-clock4. Time  – The older I get, coming up to the big 3-0 this year, the faster time seems to go.  Months fly by like I remember weeks or days going as a child.  Holidays are less exciting but, being a teacher, I still live for summer breaks. Each day I get to spend about 2 hours with my husband before the bed calls our name. When I look at my life, I just want more time.  I could no longer live with the fact that I would most likely die early for such a dumb reason as obesity.  By controlling my obesity, I am able to get more time on this Earth to spend with those that I love.

 

 

 

 

 

cute-baby-face-girl-hd-wallpaper23. Baby Maybe – The hubby and I are hoping to have children soon.  We have always planned on having children in our lives.  When I got diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome my dream of having children was all but out the window.  One of the most successful cures of PCOS is to lose weight.  If I couldn’t give my child a healthy environment for the first 9 months, what could I hope to give them after that? I want my child to crave healthy foods and not ask for a Happy Meal for dinner each night.  In order to do that, I had to make sure I was showing them the model of a healthy lifestyle.

 

 

10534415_10204460633666460_3391433917550686121_n2. Dan – Of course Dan ranks high on the list.  As I said above, I want as much time with Dan as I can get.  He is my best friend and my absolute partner in life.  How could I continue to make these choices when they would inevitably cost me my life with him.  I wanted him to have a wife he was proud to carry on his arm.  I 100% know that Dan loved me at every weight.  He always wanted me to be healthier for myself but never pushed me to lose the weight.  I gave him a list of things I needed him to do for our marriage.  He accomplished everything on that list to ensure our future family together.  In turn I promised I would get healthy.  It took me a few years but I kept true on my promise. I’m now proud to be his wife and feel like we are a much more equal partnership.

 

 

 

159734-350x232-Writing-on-a-headstone1. It wasn’t worth dying for – In the end, this is my number one reason.  Eating Big Macs and brownies is NOT WORTH IT. In the moment of consuming a Big Mac, it seems like not such a big deal.  And of course, one high fat and sodium meal once in a while is fine.  However, I was consuming meals like this on a consistent basis.  In the end, 10 minutes of pleasure for that meal is not worth dying for.  NONE of the reasons on this list were worth dying for.  When I die, I want my headstone to say something like the picture above, not “She really loved french fries.” Really take a look at yourself and how you are treating the only body that you will ever get. Most people don’t consider that their diet could kill them.  In this day and age we blame cigarettes, drugs, cancer and heart disease.  However, being a healthy weight eliminates or drastically decreases your chances of TONS of different diseases.  IT’S NOT WORTH IT.

Changes Are Coming

Hey guys, today will be my last DAILY post for a while.  I’m hoping to keep posting twice a week but I will be going back to teaching full time starting Monday.  With it brings a lot of anxiety for me.  I, of course, am very anxious to meet the kids and am unsure how the year will go.  I’m also anxious about getting back into a routine for eating.

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I have to say, I thought I would do much worse over the summer. I’ve lost 12 pounds over the summer but my real goal was to hopefully not gain!  At the start of summer I was really nervous about not having an eating schedule and being stuck in the house.  Of course my eating schedule varied from day to day but I made sure to stay active throughout the summer.  With so many birthday parties, cook outs and events, it was often hard to stay true.  BUT I proved to myself that I could do it.  While I was hoping to be at my optimal goal weight by the start of school, I don’t think that was ever realistic.  My weight loss has slowed A LOT since the beginning and it’s true that the last pounds are the hardest by far.

I am excited to get back into an eating schedule.  I’m a very orderly person and like having a schedule.  It’s hard for me in the summer to be motivated to do my regular ‘stuff’ when I have all the time in the world to get it done.  School provides an easy eating schedule as I can only eat at my designated times.  I’ve already scheduled out when my snacks and meals will be in my day. Even though I’m sad that summer has come to an end, I’m happy to have the stability of school back. Have you set an eating schedule for yourself? Do you work in both snacks and meals during the day? Take a look at when and how you’re eating and try to make just one easy change a day!

The Thyroid Saga

Long one today…….

I have gotten a lot of questions lately about the thyroid and my personal experience with a thyroidectomy. Here’s my full saga of having thyroid trouble and eventually surgery. Please Note: Once again, I am not a doctor and this post reflects my own medical history only. Ask your doctor for the best course of treatment.

 

2006 – During a routine physical my junior year of college, my general doctor found what felt like a lump on my thyroid. I knew my mother had a history of hyperthyroidism but had no idea what that meant. She recommended I get and ultrasound asap. While waiting for my ultrasound appointment, of course I googled what it could be. Lumps (cysts, nodules or goiters they are sometimes called) on your thyroid can be cancerous but most likely are not. They can make it hard to swallow, cause you to lose your voice or effect your blood work to show hypo or hyperthyroidism. My blood work came back norma,l but I was still fearing cancer as I was young and never had a serious medical issue before.

I had the ultrasound done and they found several small cysts as well as my thyroid was larger than it should be. They recommended a thyroid scan. This is done at the hospital and you take one of those dye pills so they could see what lights up. Again, it was a painless procedure, which also came back abnormal. By this time, being a natural worrywart, I had convinced myself I had cancer. They say thyroid cancer is ‘the best kind to get’; whatever that means. They recommended I get a biopsy to test for cancer.

I remember my sister taking me to my first biopsy. My mother, who is a full time nurse, told me the procedure would be no big deal and not very painful. SHE LIED but I’m so thankful she did. If you are reading this in concern about a friend or family member, I encourage you to lie as well! The procedure is quiet painful, expensive and overall sucks. The biopsies came back benign. The doctor said they would monitor the progress and see what happened.

Weight: My weight at this stage was just above healthy. A little chunky but not obese.

 2007-2008

The next two years I went through the same tests (minus the scan) every six months. Blood, ultrasound, poke. Blood, ultrasound, poke. I also started seeing and endocrinologist to look deeper into my blood levels and make sure my thyroid problems weren’t effecting me in other ways.

Weight: I had gained between 30-50 pounds at this stage. I tried dieting with very little results.

 2008- 2010

Again……same tests. Every biopsy cost me $1000 on my crappy teacher’s insurance. The costs were racking up faster than I could pay them off. During these three years, I had test after test to ‘monitor’ what was going on. I continually asked about surgery. As a music and choir teacher, I was sincerely worried about losing my voice. I could not wait for my voice to be affected because that would be too late. I used my voice as my money maker 24/7! What if I woke up one day and couldn’t teach?

I also stopped getting my period. For three years I probably had less than five periods. I simply wasn’t ovulating. My general doc thought that they were not connected. The thyroid disease was separate and not related to me not getting my period so I was put on Metformin. Metformin is supposed to offset the complications of Poly Cystic Ovary Disease, which my doc diagnosed me with, based on my weight and the fact that I wasn’t getting my period. The meds made me get my period, once.

I met with a surgeon once in 2009. He explained what a thyroidectomy was and possible complications. A possible complication can be losing your voice for good. It’s rare but possible that your vocal nerves can be severed during surgery. I decided not to have the surgery until my docs said I had to.

Weight: During the end of these years, my weight peaked at my highest weight of 290 and stayed there. Again I had tried to diet but had very little results and would put the weight back on faster than I lost it.

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2011-2012

I had now been dealing with all the tests and costs for 6 years and I was sick of it. I felt like no one knew or realized how hard it was to wait for test results and pay for said tests to often. The costs just kept adding up.

I started getting my period again after my general doc kept upping the dose on my Metformin. I would have a period every 2 months, sometimes. I now had 10+ cysts on my thyroid that were ‘not effecting it’s function’ and it was overgrown on my right side.

After my most recent biopsy, I was SICK of it. My husband sat with me through the procedure for the first time. He could not believe I had done it so many times after seeing what it was like. The procedure would give me nightmares the night before I had become so fearful of it. I was a 27 year old and did not want to keep dealing with this the rest of my life. The time had come that the risks of surgery outweighed everything else. I went to see a surgeon on my own account without a doctor’s referral. (allowed on my crappy insurance) He couldn’t believe what I had been through and for so long. I remember him saying “Of course no one would recommend surgery because that means you aren’t going to be their patient anymore and they want to make as much money as possible off you!” The surgeon made me feel super safe and was open and honest about his stats as far as thyroidectomies went. He had cut the vocal nerve of one patient and it was repairable. I decided to go for it and the surgery was scheduled for three weeks later.

Surgery

I was so scared. I was so worried about my voice that I didn’t even prepare myself for the recovery of surgery. I remember laying on the surgical table and feeling like I was on ER or something. Other than oral surgery this was the first time I was going under the knife. I also remember the anesthesiologist did NOT count backwards.

The pain was not horrible when I woke up. I was unable to talk, swallow or lift my neck very much. They had made a 2-3 incision across my throat to remove my entire thyroid. Throughout the night the pain got worse and worse. Having not had surgery before, I didn’t know how much pain was normal. After crying to my husband at 3 in the morning, I asked for a different pain medicine and was fine afterwards. The next morning my surgeon came to see me. He told me he had inserted a drain under the skin that he’d have to remove before I left that afternoon. He was shocked by the size of my thyroid when he opened me up. The tests always showed it was enlarged but it was huge. The normal thyroid should be around 3-4 inches in length. Mine went from my jaw to collarbone and he was going to save it as an example for his patients.

Recovery felt slow because I’m an impatient person. I had to run a summer camp 3 weeks after surgery which I was able to do. The affects of the anesthesia wore off in a few days and I was just tired most of the time. My voice sounded like I’d smoked 10 packs a day for my whole life. When I came time for summer camp, I could talk normally but not yell or sing. I was terrified that my voice would never come back even though the surgeon assured me there were no complications.

My voice eventually came back as strong as it’s ever been. 28 days after surgery I got my period and have every 28 days like clockwork since. But the doc said they weren’t linked right? WRONG. Now it’s like the surgery never happened. I do have a scar across my throat but after weight loss no one even knows it’s there. The only difference in my day to day life is that I take a tiny purple pill everyday. Your body stores 6 weeks of thyroid enzymes at a time, so if the zombie apocalypse happens, I won’t make it, but I’m ok with that.

30_May_2010_Doctor

I wouldn’t say that the thyroidectomy made me lose weight. One year after surgery, I was mostly the same weight. However, the surgery did make it easier for me to lose weight when I started trying. Could I have gotten healthy with such an unhealthy thyroid? I guess I’ll never know. Moral of the story: I knew what was going on with me and what I needed more than the docs did. Doctors are often running a business with you as their client. Think about this, my thyroid was 3-4 times larger than it should be and I had 10+ cysts and yet nothing showed in my blood work. According to numbers, it was normal.

I encourage everyone that is starting a weight loss journey to have their thyroid checked thoroughly, especially if thyroid disease runs in your family.

Hello World!

Wow……my first blog on my first website!  SO EXCITING!

This is a site for anyone that is thinking about losing weight and getting on with living!

Hopefully you will find my own journey both inspirational and attainable.  To be clear, I conquered my obesity without the use of a ‘diet’, pills, surgery, support groups, personal trainer,  or an eating disorder.  This is a blog about the real deal of losing weight and everything that goes with it.  I won’t censor my feelings (but maybe the language!) or my experience along my journey.  Please explore the ‘About Me’ tab if you are interested in where I started and where I am now.

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When I look back at my journey, the weight came off in five different ‘phases’ by which I will organize my posts:

Prephase – Before I started losing weight

Phase One – My first thirty pounds

Phase Two – Fall of 2013

Phase Three – Adding Fitness

Phase Four – Maintenance (Not there yet!)

That way you can see what you need and not what you don’t.

 

Hopefully this blog will be a place where you can ask questions, hear the truth about losing weight and get healthy!