A Quick Lunch

Every Sunday I prep my meals for the week.  Here’s what I’m eating every day for lunch this week.  The hubby even likes it! He’s having it on bread and I’m having lettuce wraps.  If you aren’t watching carbs you could even do crackers.  VERY tasty.  Also, I switched the rosemary for dill just because I like it better.  I also added red onion and will consider adding celery in the future!

 

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http://www.cookingclassy.com/2015/09/apple-pecan-rosemary-greek-yogurt-chicken-salad/

Balancing Act

Well as you can see….I haven’t posted in forever.  I’ve been having a bit of a balancing crisis.  I have a list of excuses a mile long and I just found I had to let a few things slip.  And this has been one of them.  Sorry to everyone who enjoys and looks forward to my posts!  Things have just gotten….hard!  But luckily…….SUMMER IS COMING!!!!  I can’t even begin to imagine it but this is one of the first summer’s I’ll be off from work in a long time.  I usually teach summer school or some sort of summer camp every single year.  I’m not quite sure what I’ll be doing with myself!

 

My Workouts 

Since the Golden Gloves, I’ve still been training 4-5 times a weeks like before.  I’m still sparring and looking for fights. I’ve also been adding a lot of cardio to make weight.  I’ve decided to go down a weight class which means a tighter diet and more cardio.  My workout schedule has been as follows:

Monday: 4 AM alarm clock: 5 Mile Morning Run , 1.5 hours boxing training

Tuesday: 3:45 alarm clock: 3.5 Mile Elliptical Routine, 1.5 hours boxing training

Wednesday: Sleep Late! (5:45 am!!!!) 2 hours boxing training

Thursday: 3:45 alarm clock: 3.5 Mile Elliptical Routine, 1.5 hours boxing training

Friday: 4 AM alarm clock: 5 Mile Morning Run , no boxing training

Saturday and Sunday: Some mix of walking, 5 mile run, sometimes boxing training

While some people think that’s insane, keep in mind that I’m still training as an amateur athlete that needs to make weight!  This week I’m not making weight, just maintaining.  So I didn’t do any of the elliptical days and still feel great.  I’ve grown to really love running in the morning!  It’s so healing and an awesome way to start the day! And it’s not more than 12 hours Mom.  I checked.

 

My Job

As some of you may have heard, It’s May now, and I teach middle school.  You’ve seen the memes.  It’s not pretty.  Every end-of-year meeting, project, hooplah and summer fever hits at the same time.  No one wants to be there but yet we are.  I thought I had done a decent (not great) job of keeping everything balanced this work year, but I was wrong.  Although I guess I do this at the end of every school year.  When huge projects are due and meetings are held, I always think I could have done better.  I’m like this with everything in my life.  There’s always room to improve and change.  But I definitely know I could have done better with a few things this school year.  I really tried to work only within my work hours this year and I succeeded to a point.  I still worked a few hours every other weekend or so.  But maybe I should have worked a little harder at my actual work? At the same time I know I’m good at my job and I still love it more than most people could ever say. So that’s something.

 

My Relationships

I think this is the greatest sacrifice I’ve made lately as a result of my training.  I haven’t been a very good friend…….I hate to say it but I know it’s true.  I have a few friends I see and I stay in contact with a lot of people but I know I could try harder.  My family rarely hears from me even though I’m never far from my phone.  It’s also hard to go out and ‘hang’ when you can’t eat or drink anything that they are.  So instead of going out for dinner, I say I have to eat at home.  I might be able to meet for a ‘quick coffee’.  Of course there are also never enough hours in the day too……but still, I should try harder.

My husband is the number one person effected by my training of course.  He changes his diet, listens to my whine, and even runs with me.  When I had to make weight a week ago, he ran 5 miles by my side on a Friday night while I was wearing two sweat suits and a zombie.  He doesn’t see me until almost 6 or 7 pm every night and I leave before him in the mornings to do crazy cardio.  He takes care of so many things at the house because I just can’t.  And somehow……we make it work. I continue to change and he continues to love me.  I continue to get crazier and he continues to love me.  Love is weird.

 

So I guess I’m trying to say, I thought I was doing a good job of balancing everything in my life but….I don’t think I really am.

 

 

Skinny Skin

Well the time has finally come.  I can’t wait any longer to find out about my loose skin and possibly having surgery.  So yesterday, I made my skin surgery consultation.  On April 14th, some doctor is going to look at me naked and he gets to judge in a 20 minute meeting whether I’ve done enough work to have it removed.  And it sounds…..terrifying.  So today, I’m going to just lay it out all out there for the whole world to see.

My Skin 

Part of the reason I didn’t lose weight sooner is because I didn’t want to know about my skin.  I knew I had done irreparable damage to my skin by carrying so much extra weight.  I also carried most of my weight in my stomach in a way that I knew would never shrink back.  Here we are, three years later, more than 150 pounds lost, and the skin……….it ain’t coming back.

There are lots of places that no one would ever know.  My arms and my legs are rarely noticed in regular clothes.  Every once in a while a student or small child will look at my aged stretch marks and think I’ve been burned at some point in my life.  I’m also thankful my face looks mostly normal.  Although the entire shape of my face changed, the skin seemed to have enough elasticity left to snap back.  Not all areas did this. 98% of the people I know or meet in the average day would never guess that I lost nearly 60% of my body weight.  There are very few people left in my life that have known me for my whole journey.  So most people don’t know.

Just the other day someone was talking to me about my weight loss and how good I look.  I made the usual comment: “Well it’s great to wear small clothes but you’d never want to see me naked.” Her response was the typical, “Who cares!  You look great!”

Answer: I DO.  I care.

Maybe no one else on the planet cares what I look like naked.   The husband has never once complained even though I think it’s gross.   Only a handful of people ever see me without clothes on, like at the gym when I weigh in,  but even there I’m in my bra and underwear which is a different story.  I feel confident down to my underoos around most people.  So that’s why I’m posting this photo.  I know that some weight loss stories post naked pics but this is the best I can do.  It still covers a lot of my biggest problem areas but gives you an idea:

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My Reasons

I always planned on having skin surgery when my weight loss was complete.  There was a period of time when I thought I could just live with it.  In the past 6-12 months I’ve realized, 100% I want it off.  I still worry that it’s vain and that it’s selfish to have such an expensive surgery.  So again, I’ve made my reasons into a convenient list!

Weight Class

I recently had my first sanctioned fight in the ring as a boxer. Read about it here. I had to weigh in in my bra and underwear, which I’m pretty used to.  Read about that…. here! My weight class was 141.  I really struggled to get there but then during the stress and training the week before, I dropped too much weight.  I weight in at 136 on weigh in day.   This is not good.  You want to weigh in as close to the top of your class as you can.  When I stepped into the ring, I was down to 134 from the stress of the day.  So I fought against someone weighing at minimum 7 pounds more that me.  Plus I’m not accounting for my extra skin.  If my extra skin weighs, I don’t know, 8 pounds, my muscle mass and body composition is really that of someone who weighs in the 120s.  To box someone that is 141 when you’re more like 125?  That’s a huge difference and I could feel it in her punches.  So I have to go to the doctor and find out what is an appropriate weight for me to compete at and if it’s even really safe for me with all my extra skin.  If he says I have 10+ pounds of extra skin (seems unlikely) it might not be safe for me to box at all.

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Too Much Work

I have put in so much work over the last three years.  I’ve trained for half marathons, boxing, obstacle racing and rock climbing.  I can do 100s of situps without thinking about it but…….it still looks like I have a belly.  My extra skin creates the illusion of fat to the public.  I know I have a 6 pack under all that flab and it’s so sad that I can’t see it.  It also makes it really difficult to calculate my body fat so I’ve stopped trying. It’s like taking an action figure and covering it in marshmallow fluff.  I’ve got a rocking body in there somewhere……. While I realize this point is quite vain, I’m ok with that.  I’ve put in too much work to still look……like this.

Old Age 

I have a friend at work who is also looking into some skin surgery so we have been comparing notes.  We have discussed the guilt that comes along with a surgery like this.  They aren’t cheap.  It feels really selfish to spend all that money on the gym and then want to spend even more on a surgery.  So I had a heart to heart/devil’s advocate discussion with my husband.  I had him try to convince me it was the right decision.  One of his biggest selling points that I had never thought of is, What happens when I get old?

ALERT: Mention of lady parts coming.  Men should stop reading here! Lol. 

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As of right now, the extra skin from my belly hangs past my hip bones and even to (if not past) my lady region. I’ve been lucky to avoid a lot of the irritation and infections I’ve heard of some people getting.  I have loose skin EVERYWHERE.  Everywhere.  But what happens when I get old?  My entire body points down now and I just turned 31.  There’s no hope going forward really!  Old lady boobs? Check!  Hanging belly skin? Check! Saggy butt? Check!  Saggy thighs? Check! These problems are just going to get worse and worse as I age and could result in actual medical issues going forward.

MEN MAY BEGIN READING AGAIN HERE! 

I feel really awkward about this post.  Some people will never understand what it’s like.  I feel vain and selfish for even discussing it, knowing there’s so many out there that are just struggling to loose the weight.  But the unknown of my skin was something that stalled me in the past.  Hopefully someone reads this and realizes it’s still worth it no matter what.  I hate my skin.  I love my body.  I’ll never forget what it was like to be obese because I still carry the sack of who I used to be around with me everyday.  But I’d never go back.  I’ll take this gross old lady body every single day for the rest of my LONG life than live one more day like I did before.

 

 

 

The Golden Gloves

If you follow my personal Facebook page, you already know the outcome of my fight.  I lost.  Totally lost.  But there were so many other victories along the way that I’m trying to focus on all the positive outcomes of this week and all the things I learned.

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The Fight

The actual fight was harder than I thought it would be.  I didn’t know it at the time, but I was matched with someone with a lot more experience than me.  But that’s how the tournament works.  You face who you face and that’s all that matters.  It’s hard to write about it.  Parts of being in the ring still feel like a dream.  The schedule was so full that everything was rushed.  It felt like I didn’t have one second to prepare myself.  I remember turning to Jameson and saying, “Is it really right now?” and then the bell went off.  In some ways I remember every moment of the fight.  In other ways, I don’t at all.  I’ve watched the video now but I still haven’t matched my memory to what actually happened.

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IMG_6694Right Afterward

I made it three rounds.  It felt awful.  I had lost.  I bled.  I had failed.  It felt horrible.  Even now I can feel the exact moment I lost and knowing I’d lost.  And I’d done it in front of some many people that I know and love.  I’d failed everyone.  It feels awful to lose and I’d never felt it quite like that before.  I cried. That’s pretty much how I felt the whole rest of the night.  And then I ate some cookies.

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The Next Morning 

The next morning I felt a little relief about it.  I found out how much experience that girl had had.  I was trying not to beat myself up about it. Everyone was sending messages of support and love.  I didn’t look at any of the photos or videos because I just didn’t want to know.  I didn’t want to see the concrete evidence of her beating me.  Besides, I had to go to the fights again that night.  It was time to focus on them winning and not me losing. Everyone was telling me how good I did, even strangers, but on the inside I felt like I just stood there and let her punch me. I was still pretty pity party on the inside but doing the best I could.  That night one of my fellow fighters won his class.  it was awesome to be there and see it and be a small part of it.  Right after his fight, my opponent went on to win as well.  So I had lost, but I had lost to the champion.  It would have been ASTONISHING if I had beaten her.  Also, my coach and I had a discussion about if I’m fighting in the right weight class or not.  More on that later…..

 

Today 

Today is Sunday, a day I’ve been waiting for.  I knew the Golden Gloves would be over today, either way.  I knew today I could spend with my husband and eating FOOD for the first time in a while.  And today I feel really good about losing.  I used to say things like “I could never get in the ring” “I could never fight” and yet I did.  That’s a victory in itself.  My real goal all along was to box in the ring and that’s what I did.  Somewhere along the way everything turned to wanting to win because I knew I could.  After I watched the fight today, I do see that I made mistakes and there are places that I could have made the fight more even, but it was my first fight.  Everyone’s already asking if I’m going to fight again and I don’t have an answer for that yet but stay tuned!

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Today I know that I’m a fighter.  I’m a registered USA boxer and I’ve completed my first amateur bout in the Colorado Golden Gloves.  But I’m more than even just that now.  As soon as 1 year ago, the fear of getting in the ring would have crippled me.  I don’t mean that if you’re scared to get in the ring, you’re not strong.  I mean that the fear of actually doing it would have stopped me from even trying in the past.  The anxiety of the day, the stress leading up to it, the juggling of some many things, in the past it would have stopped me.  But instead I fought.  Literally and figuratively. I fought for what I wanted and won even if I didn’t win my first fight.

 

Wait and Weight

All week I’ve been trying to balance resting, cardio, boxing and attending the fights. THANK GOODNESS I have an awesome boss who gave me the whole week off so I could focus on my training and deal with the up in the air schedule of the Golden Gloves.

 

Monday 

On Monday I knew I wouldn’t have to weigh in no matter what.   Even though I have a sub, my students have an important audition later this week so I had to pop in and rehearse them.   Also, I never had time to get them in to costumes, so I stayed and did that too.  Next thing I knew, it was almost lunch time.  So I packed up at work and went to find some lunch.  After wandering around target for what felt like FOREVER looking for food I knew I could eat, I finally settled on some low sodium lunch meat and a few side snacks.  I sat and ate my lunch outside, enjoying the sunshine.  All the while, everyone I know is texting me to find out if what my fight schedule was.  Same answer: still waiting.  Then I stopped by what I call my Sweat Gym.  For the last 6 months, there has been a handful of times that I wished I could go for a run but it was nasty outside.  Recently, I have to stick to a strict cardio schedule regardless of the weather.  So a coworker told me about her gym close to school.  I got the 3 day pass.  Of course, they offered me such a good price that I ended up joining.  It’s going to be nice having access to good equipment when I need it.  They also have a pool and sauna.  I didn’t work out, just signed paperwork.  Next thing I knew, it was time to train.

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I went to boxing training and did my fight week workout.  It’s still intense but in different ways and is training my mind as much as my body.  Don’t want to give out any secrets………… My coach thought it would be a good idea to attend the fights that night, even though we didn’t know anyone who was on the bout schedule.  It would be a good way to get nerves out.  After my workout I stopped by home to grab my premeasured meal and headed to the fights.  When I got there, I saw the brackets and full schedule were posted.  I was so relieved!  At least I’d have an idea of when I was fighting!!!  I even got a bye on the first round, which means my opponent will have already fought once.  I stood texting and calling my fellow fighters for about an hour, figuring out the schedule for the week. I didn’t stay for the rest of the fights because I knew I’d be back the next night.

 

Tuesday 

On Tuesday’s I do 4 am cardio. (Yes I read that in a Mean Girls voice)  I’ve been doing it for a few weeks now and recently I’ve taken it indoors for a few different reasons.  So I got up at 4 am, out the door by 4:30 and hitting it by 5:00 at the Sweat Gym. (Privately owned, swanky, they even have TVs 🙂 )  I do 45-50 minutes or so of cardio, depending on traffic because I know by 6:00 AM I need to be in the sauna if I want to have a long time to shower and putz around before I go to work.  BUT TODAY I don’t have to go to work!  I get to go weigh in my fellow fighter! So I follow the above schedule to make sure I’m on time.

I head to Starbucks to get my coffee and cram a protein shake.  I had to sit at Starbucks and send a few emails to prep everything for the day.  Then I head to the Colorado Golden Gloves Gym (CGGG) to weigh in Dawson.  I had already texted him to make sure he was at weight and on the way.  No trash bags for him, phew. (See my first weigh in experience here, next weigh in for me is Friday) The CGGG is about 30 mins away and I make it 2 seconds before him.  We go in.  He weighs.  I ask about his opponent,  we leave.  It was really quick.  Then I headed to Trader Joes and prepped all my food for the days to come.  Time to train!

Boxing training on Tuesday felt really strong.  I’m feeling really ready!  Again….no spoilers here.  Then it was time to get Dawson ready and all the gear ready for the fight.  When you are in a sanctioned fight, there are lots of pieces to consider.  There’s a long list of supplies, snacks, and equipment you need and I’m very list orientated.  So I made up a gear bag list with my coach and packed it to make sure we have everything.  That sucker is packed.  Also it eases my type A mind for when it comes time for my fight FRIDAY.  Before I knew it, Dawson was at the gym and it was time to go.

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Again, I stopped at home for my preportioned meal.  I made two stops on the way to get things we forgot.  Behind the scenes of a boxing fight is very interesting and I witnessed everything first hand. I think I’ll make it it’s own post based on the length of this one. Dawson fought around 9:15 and lost in a split decision. It took me forever to get to bed.

 

Wednesday 

The plan was to get up and go to work because I didn’t have a sweat workout or weigh in to do, why not use the morning to go to work where I already have a sub? Well, I woke up to about 4-5 inches of snow and blizzard conditions.  School was closed.  There was no where to go.  No where to feel guilty about not going.  Weird.  Back to bed.

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The next step in the plan was to get some equipment I needed.  Jump rope and cocoa butter Vaseline. (Essentials for a boxer, obviously!) So we got up at a normal time and headed to Target.  It was bad but not BAD outside.  I’m from the midwest.  By the time we got home however, it was really bad.  Blizzard bad.  No wonder they are calling it a blizzard!

Step three in the day: boxing training.  There was no way my car could possibly make it that far without getting stuck.  I felt horribly guilty about canceling on my trainer but I had to.  I think this was the first time ever that I’ve canceled the day of.  Later in the day, the gym was officially closed anyway!  So again, nothing to feel guilty about.  Weird. I couldn’t go if I wanted to now…

Step four in the plan was to attend the fights again.  No one from my team was fighting but the first round of my competition was so of course I’m going to attend.  In the early afternoon they cancelled the fights.  The blizzard has now shut down my whole day.  SO I was stuck in limbo again.  If they are rescheduling all the bouts from today, what does that mean for my bracket? What does that mean for the other guys going from my gym? Argh!  I had just felt some relief from knowing when I was going to fight and now everything is messy again!

 

Overall the Golden Gloves have been quite the journey.  I feel like one of those girls after she gets cut from the Bachelor but I’m learning so much about myself!  I’m better at some parts of it than I expected and worse at others.  The waiting, the lack of sleep, the workouts, the diet…….I’ll have so much to say when this is all over.  But for now Golden Gloves, I still accept this rose.

 

 

Weigh Ins!

Yesterday I weighed in and registered for the Golden Gloves tournament! The day was quite the experience……

 

5 AM

I set my alarm for 5 am even though the weigh ins were scheduled to begin at 10 AM. I have been struggling to get to my fight weight for a while. After talking to my coach two weeks ago, he really eased my mind that the weight would come off and the more I worried about it the harder it would be. He really made me feel better about it and the weight came off. My weight class is 141 pounds. My coach was expecting 138 on the scale. This will allow me to fuel for fighting but not kick me overweight for weigh ins. I FINALLY started seeing the right numbers last week. So when I set my alarm for 5 AM, I knew I would be at weight but I got up any way just to check. If I was overweight, I’d spend the morning running on a treadmill in trash bags……..

 

I stepped on the scale and held my breath. 137.2. Not only had I made weight but I had an extra a pound just in case. So I went back to bed J

 

8 AM

At 8 I got up to meet my fellow fighters at the boxing gym. There are 5 of us going under the Touch of Sleep name. I was hoping we were all at weight and the morning would go smoothly. When I arrived, I saw one of my fellow fighters sprinting on the treadmill in three sweat suits. I was SO thankful that wasn’t me. I had prepared SO much that I made sure I didn’t have to do that and it worked. I’ve been counting every calorie and watching every nutrient to not end up in that situation. It felt good to relax and not have to worry. 8It came time to leave and we all got in the car.

 

10 AM

We got to the weigh ins early and got our places in line. I knew for sure that I was registered for the tournament but there was a problem with all the other fighters. I quickly checked in and headed to the weigh in lines. The lady took me back to the scale alone. I was nervous and excited about seeing the number. I knew I was at weight. I didn’t eat or drink anything since 7pm the night before. Before I stepped on the scale, in my bra and underwear no less, I took a deep breath. Here it was. The moment that I’d been waiting for. A whole year of training was coming down to this. I could never prove to myself or anyone else how good or hard my training was if I couldn’t make weight. I’ve never had to be a certain number for anyone other than myself. When I stepped on the scale, I almost cried. 136.5. Not only had I made weight, I had come in 4.5 pounds under.

 

**To be clear, 136.5 is not what I consider a healthy weight for me. I prefer my body at 145 or so. But this is the boxing world, it’s just how it works.

 

The woman weighing me in didn’t know anything about me. She didn’t know I used to be 290+ pounds. She didn’t know my journey or all the work I’d put in to see that number. There was no shouts of congratulations or looks of astonishment. To her, I was just another boxer trying to make weight. But I knew. I knew everything that number represented. I knew the tears, the sweat and the bruises I’d gone through to get there. Even though I’ve been officially training for a year, it’s been more like 3. It felt like the culmination of my whole journey. It was different than crossing a finish line because this time, it’s the starting line.

 

I got dressed and had my doctor check. And just like that, I’m qualified to fight. All of my fellow fighters made weight as well (even if we had to wait another hour for all of them to get through registration!)

 

The whole situation felt a little anticlimactic. I knew it wouldn’t be a celebration for me but it’s been so long coming that I couldn’t believe how fast it was over. But now the real fight begins. Each day we don’t find out who is scheduled to fight until that day. So now there’s a balancing dance between training and waiting for your fight. Will it be tomorrow? The next day? There’s no way to know…..

 

Obviously I’m really good at waiting. I love to schedule my life down to the T. I like having control of what’s going on. So instead I’m learning even more lessons about myself and my constant problem with control. It’s hard to be anxious when you don’t have anything to be anxious about. I thought I’d be a wreck but I’m doing alright with the waiting……….for now.10250102_1726232567611968_4506162408645246567_n

Running in the EARLY Morning

Last Saturday Morning, I went on one of the hardest runs that I’ve ever experienced. with my fellow fighters from my gym.  They are all younger and well…..men.  They ran their asses off and I tried to keep up.

My coach has been expecting me to run 5 miles three times a week.  I’ve been making excuses and just trying to fit in a 5K here and 5 miles there.  After I went on the run with the boys, at which I met them at the gym at 5 AM, I realized how much more I could be pushing myself in my running. I’ve been avoiding the dreaded, the thing I always said I would never do, run in the early early morning.

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So this morning I did it.  Dan has been getting up to work over time at the same time I should be getting up to run.  So I got up and put on SO MANY clothes and ran 5 miles, and once again, lived to tell about it.  Here’s my thoughts in an ever so convenient list format.

No One Is Up

On a normal run in the evening, my preferred running time, I’ll see between 5 and 30 people depending on the weather.  This morning I saw two.  Two people walking their dogs.  Turns out, everyone hates being up at 5 am. Also, there’s really no traffic, so the traffic lights are less of an annoyance as they usually are and they are easier to see from far away.

 

No Food

I usually run in the late morning when I have eaten breakfast, or in the evening after many more meals and snacks.  I’ve always thought if I didn’t have enough fuel my body wouldn’t go at all.  Lately, I’ve been ill with a touch of stomach flu and knew that an empty stomach was probably the best choice for the first time.  I did it on Saturday and it was fine.  I did it again this morning and again…..it was fine.  I wouldn’t recommend this for new runners but I found that I could just go just like when I had eaten a meal.  I didn’t cramp up or anything which is what I expected.  I do get hungry but not too hungry. I wouldn’t recommend going much farther without eating.

LOTS of Clothes

When I showed up at the gym on Saturday, the boys were all wearing sweatpants but I was not really. I wore double layer, winter style gear.  They were all sweating bullets later but I was sweating normally.  So this morning I wore more clothes than I have ever worn to help me sweat but also because it was 38 degrees.  When I got back, I was very sweaty. I had to lay out my clothes all down the hallway like when you’re a kid and you’ve been playing in the snow all day.  Other people did that too, right? This said sweat and combination of clothing makes it VERY interesting to get to your keys when you get back, which are in your bra. Awesome. (Again, I would not recommend this for new runners.  Boxers only. Oh, the lots of clothes part, not the sweaty keys part)

Mario in Real Life

I made sure to choose a path that I knew and one that was lit this morning.  My clothes aren’t too bright and I didn’t know how many cars would be out.  BUT even when you run where there are street lights, there are still shadows. In those shadows lie mysteries.  At one point, I was playing a game with myself like I was a Mario character and I would avoid the shadows.  Sometimes though, the shadows were so wide that I had to step in them and it was always a mystery what would happen.  I don’t really want to wear a head light.  Maybe I could carry a really small LED flashlight? I’m not really sure yet but I think I should bring something? Also, the time is going to change soon so I really don’t know what that is going to effect either.

It Didn’t Kill Me

Once again, completing this goal did not kill me.  It’s surprising how often this is true 😉 Anyway, I thought running in the morning would be the worst thing ever.  I thought I would hate every single moment of it.  The truth is, I felt more ready for the day than I have in a really long time!  I had thought through my entire day before I had even started it.  I felt ready to take on the world.  Bring it.

The Wide World of Supplements

Ok. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or even overly educated in the medical sciences of the body, yet.  So anything you read in this post is based on how my body FEELS and only that.  Just saying.

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I’m training as an amateur athlete now.  In 5 weeks, I will compete in the Colorado Golden Gloves State Tournament.  Holy Crap.  So this last 2 months, my training has really been more intense.  I’m taking class 5-6 times a week, sparring at least once a week, sometimes having private time, and working on the regular bag and speed bag.  I’m also running a little (<10 miles a week, I wish it could be more) but the weather and my body are making it hard.

I have gotten through my entire weigh loss journey with three containers of protein powder.  Up until recently, I only took it when I was sore or I had put in way more work than usual at the gym.  Maybe a couple shakes a month.  Dan takes them too but also rarely.  Up until now I have only taken my usual multi-vitamin and the occasional B-12 or something.  This week: I had to invest in a new pill box because I have started taking so many supplements.

Last week, I suffered an minor-ish injury in the ring.  I’d rather not literally publicize my weaknesses but I HATE being injured.  I have a hard time being slow and making myself rest.  I had JUST hit my fight weight so I, ONCE AGAIN, reached out to my amazing friend Jessica Kidd.  She recommended adding Glutamine to my smoothies in the morning.  I am already have a protein shake a day and I’m trying to get my nutrients from food as much as possible.  But maybe it’s possible I’m expecting my body to do things it just can’t without some extra help.  I’ve been feeling MORE than just sore for a long time now.  Adding a crap ton of protein to my diet helped but only took the edge off.  So after a trip to the store and talking to other people, I’m on three things:

  1.  Glutamine: Is a building block of protein, and sometimes your body just can’t make enough of it to repair your muscles. It comes in powder and pill but I take powder.  I put it in my smoothies in the morning.  I noticed a difference the first day.  I wish I could take 10X the dosage and feel 10 times better, but it doesn’t really work that way.   I paid $30 for enough for 2-3 months.  I’ll probably keep this in my regimen until I’m done boxing.
  2. Turmeric After Sport:  To be perfectly honest, I only bought this because the lady suggested it.  As I’m standing there, I could have counted about 15 things that hurt so I would have bought nearly anything.  When I told her why I was buying the Glutamine, she suggested this.  She also reminded me of their return policy and if I didn’t think it was doing anything, I could bring it back.  So far, it seems ok? I’m not really sure if it’s doing anything yet.
  3. Fish Oil –  I’m taking this because we had it in the house.  A few people I talked to were surprised that I wasn’t already on them.  They are supposed to help with joints and overall health right? But I also read recently that most Fish Oil pills are really nothing……so I’ll probably take these till their gone and then see if I see a difference.

My point is, when I was losing weight, it was important to me to do it without supplements and by getting what I needed from my food.  But now I’m not losing weight.  I’m training and I’m training hard.  Maybe my body just can’t produce everything that it needs.  I’m still trying to get as much as I can from my overall diet, but if I need a little help keeping my body in one piece to make it to the tournament, I guess I have to do that.

My Fight Weight Fight

So I’m now in training mode and focused on competing in the Golden Gloves.  I’m training 8-10 hours a week and trying to trim to my fight weight of 141 pounds.  141 pounds.  That’s small.  I’ve been at 141 pounds before and maintained it for 6 weeks or so just to make sure I could even be that small, and for the record: I think I’m too skinny at that weight.  Regardless, this is the weight my coaches have determined is the safest weight for me.

It’s actually quite difficult to think about what my true weight is.  After dropping over 50% of my body weight, I pretty much have loose skin…..everywhere.  So…..it’s hard to calculate my real weight, muscle mass or body fat.  So I’ve been obsessed with getting to that number again and I’ve been really struggling.  I have been eating within my calories everyday.  I have been working out more.  I have haven’t have a sweet treat (soda, candy, cupcake, cookie……) all month.  I have totally cut alcohol out.  And the scale………kept going up.  I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong.

My elbows hurt all the time.  My knee hurts every day.  My should hurts every day.  Weird aches and pains pop up all throughout the day. Am I going to be able to: 1.  Stay in one piece until March? 2. Make fight weight?12510425_10103151284597509_1504549280907727655_n

So I reached out to my amazing friend, Jessica Kidd, once again.  She is studying for her nutrition degree and often has to make a certain weight or look for events.  I knew she could help.  I know I still have almost two months to get to fight weight, but I’m starting to go to an unhealthy place about it and I want to make sure I do it right.

At first she noticed that I wasn’t eating enough.  My body was pretty much in starvation mode and if I didn’t increase my calories, I would never drop the weight.  I know it seems CRAZY.  But if you aren’t eating enough, you body saves every last calorie because it doesn’t think it’s ever going to get calories again.  But if you feed it when it asks, it learns to take what it needs and throw the rest away.  My body was saving everything because it needed everything. I lost my ‘excess weight’ quickly.  But then it started coming back.

I reached out to Jessica again.

Since I’ve been tracking my food in Myfitnesspal (LOVE!) I could simply send her a photo of what I’d been eating and my nutrients.  She noticed right away that my protein was too low and my fats were too high.  Honestly, I usually don’t pay much attention to anything but my calories and sugar.  I’ve gotten away with this for a looooong time.  But I’m training differently now.  I’m training as an amateur athlete. (What?!) So I have to provide my body with different things.  She told me the new levels she would suggest and I reset my app.  I went shopping the next day and prepped food for the whole week.  And.  It.  Worked.

I’m finally dropping some of my ‘excess weight’ that my body has been holding on to.  I thought I was getting enough of what I needed because my body was still going.  But now I realize how much my body was telling me it needed something different. Now that I’m eating the way I need to, it’s not complaining.  My elbows don’t hurt.  My knee is only sore after running.  My shoulder doesn’t hurt.  I feel so much more put together and stronger.  And the scale has agreed.  I’m not to fight weight consistently yet, but I’m getting there!

Everybody Needs Somebody

So the struggle continues……..

It’s been one week of no sweets or alcohol.  I can feel my cravings resetting and I’m proud of walking past the trays of cookie leftovers at work without taking one.  I can feel how clean my system is.  BUT……I haven’t dropped any of the excess water weight that I thought I was putting on.

On the scale yesterday morning, I had a moment.  A bad one.   I woke up and got on the scale to see I had gained 3 pounds OVERNIGHT.  This is a huge red flag for me for several reasons.

  1.  I NEVER bloat or gain three pounds over night.  Never.
  2. I’ve been on no sweets
  3. I thought I’d eaten perfectly for three days straight

I stood on the scale and cried out of frustration.  Normally, a few pounds here and there is no big deal but now I’m trying to trim down to my fighting weight and seeing the scale jump was devastating. If you have never cried on the scale, I congratulate you.  I can’t believe that my emotions are still so tied to the number I see but it’s important right now.  Now I HAVE to be a certain weight or I can’t fight.  So it’s a very weird feeling.

Anyway, I reached out to a friend that I have to see what she thought.  This friend is not just the average person or someone that I have even known that long but she’s awesome.  I first met Jessica in my very first class, MY VERY FIRST CLASS, at Touch of Sleep Boxing Gym. I case you don’t remember that post, or you’re new to this blog it was titled Boxing with DaVarryl and it was the first timed I had ever cried in a workout.  I felt so stupid because I didn’t know what he was asking me to do.  Jessica was sympathetic and tried to help even under the strict “no talking rule” in the ring.  My trainer was unable to be there that night, which is how I ended up in class.  Later I said to him, “And there was this girl there”.  He immediately cut me off and scolded me for focusing on others instead of myself.  But I saw her and I’ve been drafting off her inspiration and motivation ever since. She was also the first girl I had ever sparred with and it was terrifying. Again, read here. Then when I ran my first half marathon, she waited to see me finish! (that one’s here)

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Wow that picture seems really old now……..

 

She currently is a personal trainer, studying nutritionist, WBFF pro, Ms. Cherry Creek, (Soon to be Ms Colorado!) a World’s Toughest Mudder and has fought under our gym in previous Golden Gloves fights and soooo many other amazing things.   Oh and she just got married and rocked a KILLER red dress.  Anyway, I sent her a message freaking out.  I knew she would understand the feeling I had and know how to help or at least listen.  She asked me what I had been eating and I sent her my list of typical foods.  Which, if you’ve been reading, you know I pretty much eat the exact same foods everyday except I switch up dinner and the weekends get messy.  So I feel like it should be kind of a no brainer for me by now.  If I make these choices, the numbers do this and everything is fine.  I have control of my choices, so I can control the numbers……right?  Not always.

I’m investigating what is going on but I want to see what works before I give out the secret because it sounds quite ludicrous. So if you’re intrigued……stay tuned!

So THANKS Jess!  Sometimes people look at me and see that I’ve lost the weight and assume I’ve figured it all out right? I have lots of somebody’s for different things but here’s a shout out to Jess for being my somebody the other day!