People ask me all the time, how do you do what you do? The truth is, theres no other option for me anymore. I have not missed a run, let myself out of a workout, or even ever felt like giving up for as long as I can remember now. Granted, my best looks different every day. My workouts while I rehabbed my knee looked much different than they do now. But I got my 10,000 steps a day, and did every upper body workout I could construct. I kept up my cardio capacity and stamina in any way I could come up with. Now I’m back to running 10Ks and roller skating and getting back to what I’m used to.
I don’t run out of obsession. I don’t lift to wear bikinis. I do it because I love it. I know if I miss a run, life will go on. If I don’t deadlift on Fridays; no one would even notice. I do not have a fear that if I miss a workout I’ll gain 10 pounds. I don’t work out to punish myself or make sure I don’t gain the weight back. I absolutely love feeling what my body can do. I may not always be able to run like I can now, so I’m gonna appreciate every damn mile. Knowing what my body can do, tracking my progress, makes me know I’m growing and changing. It keeps me accountable in a very measurable way. Because the things I need to work on, the growth I still need, isn’t always so measurable.
After years of giving excuses, wishing life were different and being so unhappy, it’s easy to make healthier choices. The person I was, a person I grew to hate, isn’t all that far away. I spent a lot more years in that unhealthy body than I’ve spent in this one. That shadow is still there and the reminder of how bad things can be and feel. Even though I haven’t recognized that person in so long, but I still have her with me all the time. She still tries to influence my behaviors and reactions daily. This is a life long fight and process for me. Goal weight or not. Skin surgery or not. I’ll still fight this fight everyday to be the person I really want to be, which has been worth every bloody battle along the way.
Knowing what my body can do, tracking my progress, makes me know I’m growing and changing. I can measure my weight, my miles run, my deadlift and bench press PRs . It keeps me accountable in a very measurable way. Because the things I need to work on, the growth I still need to do, isn’t always so measurable. It’s hard to tally my people pleasing progress. There’s no growth chart for patience or comparison for my healthy vs. unhealthy reactions. If emotional growth could be charted per mile in comparison to my heart rate? I’d probably be a lot further along.
So yes, it’s easy for me. I don’t break plans with myself. I carve out my workout time and rarely let anything get in the way. I don’t give myself excuses. If I can, I will and I do. That’s the difference in being extraordinary and ordinary. It’s what allowed me to do this and carve out the life I wanted. While I’m still working on a lot of things in a lot of areas, I’m proud of my ability to motivate myself. This is who I am and the life I want. It’s easy for me to choose myself in this way and I’ve never looked back. The secret is though: anyone can do it. Anyone can make the decision to choose themselves. Anyone can do what I’ve done but so few have. What excuses are you telling yourself? Why aren’t you choosing yourself?
