I love to listen to podcasts when I run. It helps the time pass and I usually end up learning a thing or two about our country, running or myself. While running 5 barefoot miles on the indoor track with my husband on Monday, I listened to The Strength Running Podcast by Jason Fitzgerald which my coach recently recommended. It was Episode 94: How to Avoid the Dark Side of Passion and Build a Sustainable Running Obsession with Brad Stulberg.
When I pick entertainment for my run, I have to go with my mood. Somedays I’m not in it for development but simply entertainment so I choose something ‘fluffy’. I rarely recognize the names of special guests before clicking (even when they’re famous) and kinda just go with it. I wasn’t really sure what I was up for that day but when I read the subject, I figured it was for me. Most people see my weight loss and continued dedication to health and running as motivational or extraordinary. However, some people (people that have made their thoughts known loud and clear) see it as an obsession or worse: an addiction. Throughout the podcast, which I’ll let you listen to yourself, I kept asking myself questions: is he talking about me here? do I do that?
I got my phone out mid run to capture the quote: “True passion, or in this case obsession, is the difference between being a practitioner and a seeker.” Meaning, practitioners find joy and strength in the day to day practice of their obsession which often leads to great results. Seekers are reaching for the end goal, the glory, the experience of the result.
When I was nearly 300 pounds, I didn’t have a vision of what I would look like in the end. The finish line in that race was unfathomable through the whole journey. I didn’t know what weight, what pant size or what shoe size I’d be in the end. It was about the everyday. The everyday victory of standing on the scale and knowing I’d done that for health. The everyday victory of passing on a food that wouldn’t make my body feel good for one that would fuel it with strength. That was my obsession. Somehow I ended up here. Somehow healthy became my whole life because I found joy and comfort everyday along the way.
Running kind of happened for me that way too. Most of you that read this blog know that running was something I’d always wanted to do. So I started with a mile goal, then 5K, 10K…..and in two weeks I”m hoping to run my fastest Half Marathon ever. I’ve been training really hard for the last 9 weeks to get faster. It’s been really really hard some days but I’ve also really loved it. I haven’t loved it every day. I haven’t loved in in mile 7 of 9 tempo miles thats for sure. But I’ve loved finding my limits. I’ve loved pushing myself harder and harder. I’m starting to see the edges of what I’m capable of, instead of just wondering. I’ve loved the practice.
What some people don’t now is, I run every single day. I have run at least a mile (95% 5K or more) every day for the last 160ish and some odd days. There have been some really ugly runs you guys. Really ugly. I’ve run hung over. I’ve run barely awake. I’ve run mid-road trip. I’ve run with shoes and without. Ive run solo and with company but I haven’t stopped in almost half a year. Part of me just wants to know how long I can go. If I get the time I want to see in two weeks when I run my race, it will have been mostly because of these miles that I find success. It’s the runs I didn’t want to do. It’s the days I didn’t think I could. It’s the everyday victories that add up to the winning result. Bikini bodies are built in the winter and spring running victories are built from the grit of winter miles.
So ask yourself about an obsession you might have: am I in it for the grit or the glory?