I’m still so glad that I came home that day of the surgery. Going into the whole thing, I kept trying to remind myself how hard those first 48 hours really are. Looking back now, (I’m in Day 5) it was both better and worse than I thought it would be. Today I’m going to write about the experience, more about emotions to come.
Let’s take a quick recap of what the procedure actually was in Kim’s words:
Feel free to skip if squimish!
Monday evening I had a full Panniculectomy which means they cut off my whole flap of extra skin that has been covering my pubic area for the last 5 years. They start by opening you (only though the skin, no muscles are cut) hip to hip. There’s an incision around my belly button. Then, like your buttering a Thanksgiving turkey, they separated my skin from the muscle wall from pubic area to a few inches above where my new belly button would be. While my incision is a little over 180 degrees, the muscle lining is only separated in the center. The ‘six pack’ area not the sides. Then they pull all the skin down, make a new hole for my old belly button, and cut off the excess. Everything is stitched and glued closed. A drain was placed at the top of each hip to help with drainage during healing. (See below, the tubes coming out)
The left picture is 4 days before (there’s actually nothing indecent in this photo. What you see is alllllll skin. The picture on the left is 4 days post surgery.
Day 1 (Tuesday)
They send you home with so many instructions. Pills, drains, caring for yourself…..it’s hard to remember it all. I suppose that’s why they make you bring a functioning adult. When I woke up on Day 1, (and all through the night to take pills) I didn’t forget or try to get out of bed. I remembered and touched it right away. I could feel how much fluid was behind my skin.
So you can imagine it’s a little painful. They sent me home with oxycodone and recommended Tylenol in between. I wasn’t allowed ibuprofen for the first 48 hours or a shower. For my 1st full day of recovery, Dan was here. He helped me get up in the morning and check the fluid in my drains.
I could see a huge difference right away, although I felt puffy and distended from all the fluids they gave me. My sister sent beautiful flowers and I talked to many people on the phone. When I talked to my friend Natalie, she told me I wouldn’t remember much. And she was right. The day passed quickly with little naps, pills, food, bathroom and repeat. I felt slow both mentally and obviously physically. Even though there was discomfort from the surgery, my drains and back hurt the worst. I’m a highly active person so sitting around and having a hunched position every time I’m standing was painful for my back. Dan helped rub my back a little and I called it a night pretty early. I took all my pain meds as prescribed that day because I found myself needing the next pill 20-30 minutes before I was supposed to have it. I was able to keep to my schedule but a few times were difficult. I set alarms on my phone to wake up and take pills. Unfortunately, that first night I also had to go pee every time I woke up. Annoying.
Day 2 (Wednesday)
When I woke up on Day 2, I was feeling a little better. Dan was going to work so I was on my own to get my breakfast and transfer myself to the living room. When you walk at the pace of a turtle, this takes a while. About 9 am, I finally get up out of bed for real. (my usual wake up time is 4:45 so this is like noon to everyone else on the planet.) It takes me 45 mins to tend to my drains, take a progress picture, put on a shirt, get my blankets and water to the living room. I also have to get my breakfast in the toaster and pour coffee that Dan left for me. This would usually take me 5 minus max. By the time I’m sitting down to eat, I’m exhausted. Not in pain. Just tired. So I play online for a while, and compare my pictures again.
On Wednesday, I didn’t feel like I saw that much difference and was almost bummed. But that’s why you take photos. They don’t lie. You see what’s there. I’m most shocked about having a belly button (almost an outie no less!) and seeing my lady flower.
After comparing the photos, I was shocked. I can see it, but it’s like my brain doesn’t understand what it’s seeing. I attempted to put some clothing on my bottom half since I was expecting visitors but…..nope. Friends visited and while I remember seeing Melody and Gary, I don’t really remember much of what we talked about. I made a velcro wrap towel into a very fashionable skirt. My mom called that night with nursey questions including “Have you pooped yet? ” I haven’t sent so many naked photos or poop emojis to anyone on the planet as I have these last few days with my mom. TMI: But I had not. Narcotics tend to back up the system. The nurse had warned me ahead of time and recommended I start a stool softener. Even with the medicine I was scared. I can’t laugh, cough, push or twist without pain. So the idea of pooping is not fun. I was willing to wait till Thanksgiving. Later I’m sure Dan came home and we watched TV. He helped me take a shower and painted my toe nails. There was quite a bit of pain that night even though I’d felt good during the day. I eventually made it to bed and started the whole routine over.
Day 3 (Thursday)
When I got up on Thursday morning, I could tell something had changed. I was able to start ibuprofen during the night and could tell a difference immediately. I woke up with a little more energy and got through my morning routine a little more quickly. Drains, photo, POOP!!! (Hallelujah) breakfast, coffee, text mom……these are the new days of my life. I wasn’t expecting any visitors that day and I was kinda ok with being a lone. Everyday I can’t wait to look at my progress photos. Some days I can feel the change, other days I need the picture to tell me.
Not only did I see a huge difference in the swelling but the entire color of my skin was coming back to normal. I spent the day resting, watching Netflix, texting, writing. I was able to start cutting all my pills in half and still make it without too much discomfort to the next dosage. The day went really quickly actually. I was happy to be feeling better and feeling like myself. When I thought back to those first 48, they are still cloudy. I backed off to half of my oxycodone and started to space them out further. My big goal of Thursday was to wash and blow dry my hair. Nailed it!
Even though I got a little lonely mid day, being alone for the whole day was nice. I cried a little, I sorted some of my feelings and really just tried to figure out what the hell had just happened. That night my colleague, Mariah, sent over dinner. What?!? So crazy nice. It was so nice to sit with Dan and not have him on the other side of the apartment washing dishes and making dinner. I needed him that night. Wash, Rinse, Repeat……
Day 4 (Friday)
If I feel 10 times better on day 3, I felt 100 times better on day 4. A full 24 hours of 1/2 as much narcotics and full dose of Tylenol WITH ibuprofen was exactly what my body needed. I slept way more and stayed in bed till 9 again. When I got up for drains at 7am I could feel the difference without pictures but took some any way. This was the first time I thought to take them from the side? I don’t know why I didn’t before. Blame it on the drugs I guess.
I looked at the photos and thought of one that I have in my old body. In some ways, I love that old photo. It shows how fit I really am and that the skin is just extra. When I put it side by side with that photo, I cried.
More on emotions tomorrow but……..DAAAAAAAMN! I wanted it gone and its, well, gone! Ever since seeing this photo, I feel like I care less. It’s going to be 6 weeks before I can do activity. Its going to be 3 months before everything is healed and how it’s going to look for the rest of my life. So how am I feeling on Day 4? Totally freaking happy with that. Also on Day 4 I had a few huge accomplishments: I took a shower by myself, I went up and down the stairs for the first time, I put my own socks on and most importantly I put underwear on. 
On Friday, I had THREE friends come over! I spent the morning writing on here for all of you, then crashing the site and trying to fix it. Soon Ali stopped by with groceries of fruit and nuts and we were able to chat for a while. Both of us are always so on the go, we don’t really get to just sit together much. After she left I made myself some lunch and watched TV. Later Melody came over and we talked our usual nerd talk about how I crashed my website and what article on Alzheimers she had read. Amy came over and painted my finger nails and gossiped until Dan came home. If you have to judge me based on the quality and character of my friends: go right ahead. I have some of the most caring, genuine and beautiful friends on the planet. No arguments.
Well I’d love to start adding day 5 but, it’s today and there’s still a lot left of this day. Also, I’m so tired from the morning and writing this post that I might just take a nap. Life is good.